I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
