Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
