She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
