So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
