went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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