She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Actions speak louder than pants.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
