did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
