i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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