Cold hands, warm shart.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
