what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I haven't been this sober since birth.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
