i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
