R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
