his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
His nipple licking is glorious
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