it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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