My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
