The maid of honor just puked.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize