Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
