im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
