i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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