I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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