He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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