I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
