I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
