Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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