Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.

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(831): View more from California

I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

my sombrero is too big for the bathroom

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(716): View more from New York

is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?

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(317): View more from Indiana

update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night

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(903): View more from Texas

Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.

(936): View more from Texas

You are the coolest girlfriend ever.

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(727): View more from Florida

This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication

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