So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
