I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
