My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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