And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
