And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
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