I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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