Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize