I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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