I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
