Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
