dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
