she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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