Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
