I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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