I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
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