all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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