matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize