Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
