I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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