Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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