He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize