girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
