I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
