He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
