While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
