I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
