Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
