in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
