My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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