Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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