i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
