it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he was CRYING into my vagina
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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