There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
