Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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