Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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