That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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