I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
