I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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