I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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