Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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